Is Dry January Finally Dead?

Something weird is happening. I notice it in bars and on liquor store shelves too. It seems to strange yet so normal. It's more difficult to explain if you don't work with Alcohol on a daily basis, but it's freaking me out: people are drinking in the first week of January.

What the hell is this? I'm used to spending the first two weeks of every year rationalizing treating overhead like kindling. This year, for all intents and purposes, we seem to be breaking even. Even after a disappointing fourth fiscal quarter.

Are people not making the "Dry January" pledge anymore? Doesn't seem likely, but maybe they are making alternate resolutions:

• I resolve to just, like, generally be healthier. No need to put a framework or limitations. I'm a fierce independent girlboss who knows how to control herself.

• I resolve to drink less than I did in December, but I'm not gonna set myself up for failure by taking a whole month off.

• I resolve to not drink until my cuffing mate decides to--[receives SMS message, begins drinking]

• I would make a drinking resolution this year, but Rafael just dumped me, so...

• I resolve this year to only drink wine. No more hard liquor.

• I resolve this year to only drink natural wine. No more chemicals.

• I resolve to not stop drinking this year until I hit rock bottom.

Then again, maybe I jinxed it and people have just been waiting for the weekend.